Amazonian cockroach a la bolognese - anyone?
by DscrngTaste on 08/20/2011 |
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Per the Gayot user interface I am, unfortunately, 'forced' to actually give a minimum of one star to La Piazza (for the record, in this instance 1 star =0). If you have so much as a shred of dignity or taste, please, please, please spare yourself this dining experience (if it can even be called that - read on, it's good, get cozy).
Although I live nearby and go to the Grove almost weekly I never went to this place. Something about it was creepy - the "B" LA Health department rating that was posted there for oh-so-long didn't really inspire me to dine therein. Last Friday night I saw that La Piazza had 'moved on up' to an "A" rating so my companion and I chanced it.
A litany of mediocre food was trailed before us. It was late - we contented ourselves. As I reached for another so-so bite of my food I noticed something brown and about the width and length of a kiwi fruit on the white tablecloth. I looked down and to my horror saw - brace yourself - a kiwi sized COCKROACH on the table. I WISH I were joking. I am talking about something one would imagine emerging from the mists of the Amazon. I jumped up screaming and yelling in horror, only to see yet another one crawling comfortably nearby!!
Of course, I reported this to the waitress, who asked if I would like to see the manager - I said 'of course.' Enter one Alex Silverstri, the alleged 'manager' of this fine establishment (I asked for a business card to this effect, he didn't have one so who knows). His whole vibe on approach was very much 'what the hell do you want?' as opposed to "what seems to be the problem?" I could just tell that a lot of senseless stupidity was about to flow out of his mouth and - guess what - I was not disappointed.
Silvestri informed me that I would just have to 'deal with it'. He then went on to say that these were not cockroaches but, in fact, a rare environmentally-protected species of ‘water-bug' that inhabits, and with some frequency emerges from, the beautiful Grove dancing fountains.
These 'bugs' were so precious, Silvestri claimed that even the LA County Board of Health told La Piazza that they could not take steps to fumigate their establishment lest they contribute to their extinction (yeah, I bet the inspector told them that right after he issued them a "B" rating on the first of several occasions). I then pointed out that our outdoor table was next to an open door into which one directly enters the kitchen so that these insects A. Silvestri dispassionately described as 'common' on the restaurant's exterior would likely be making their way between the two spaces in much the same way that, oh, I saw several wait staff and other people do during my time there. Silvestri glibly stated that the bugs were on the OUTSIDE (emphasis his), not the inside. He then folded his arms and glared at me (he thought this a highly intellectual and argument-defeating observation). I then observed, as would any second grader of average intelligence, that when exterior doors are open that which is "outside" tends to opportunely make its way "inside" - especially kitchens  . Alex merely shrugged then walked away.
I asked for his business card to escalate to Grove management. He didn't have one so he wrote his name on the back of receipt (very classy). Probably not even his real name if his integrity in the roach matter is a guide. It would be whatever 'manger' was on duty on Friday, 12 Aug. When I asked the waitress , a petite brunette with a large pony-tail, what his name was she said "I actually don't even know" - hmmm, classic - looks bad whether a lie or the truth.
In short, if your brain capacity and sense of hygiene and cleanliness even slightly exceeds that of a toad, slew or mongoose and you prefer to dine 'sans insectes' - choose someplace else. All I can say is, thank God I am a lawyer with personal contacts at the Department of Health. Buon Appetito a Tutti!! |
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